... your church aerobics class takes place During praise and worship time.

 

... you think of the floor, as an old friend.

 

... someone yells "Revival  FIRE!" and you immediately  "stop, drop and roll".

 

... your pastor has a difficult time finishing a sentence, much less his message.  

 

... after church, you find yourself asking people if they have seen your car.

 

... when you are getting a salad at a salad bar, some little kid yells  "look Mom, a salad shooter"

 

... you are afraid of going to Kmart anymore because at times you draw more attention than the flashing blue light.

 

... you find yourself asking others, "Did you feel that?", and realize that you now experience personal earthquakes.

 

... you spend more time getting into your car after church than you did getting ready to come to church.

 

... when picking out new clothes, you consider how they will look against the color of the sanctuary carpet.

 

... the 1 hour church service that used to be boring is now 3 hours long and seems too short.

 

... church services don't start until everyone has crawled out of the prayer room and into the sanctuary.

 

... instead of a "cry room", your church has a "laugh room".

 

... you wonder what it is that you are "birthing" and if it will *ever* be born.

 

... the phrase "carpet burn" comes up at lease one time,  when talking with church members.

 

... the "town drunk" is a member of your ministry team.

 

... you visit a more traditional church and find the opening hymn hilariously funny.

 

... your closet is divided into two sections - clothes that are appropriate for falling, and those that are not.

 

... you find yourself praying that the bible answer man will be struck by holy laughter during a live broadcast.

 

... when you break a fingernail, you blame it on spiritual warfare.

 

... you develop a slight hand tremor, and a prayer line forms in front of you during ministry time.

 

... your Pastor begins shining the church announcements on the ceiling via the overhead so all can read them.

 

... going to church involves a discussion as to who is going to be the designated driver after the service.